Desert Child

You win at running, football, arson, weddings, and art! You’ll even win at irony! Top score.

You did all the things.

Hello, this is Pablo

Achieve max notoriety, the rank of Pablo Escobar.

1991

Collect all secret tapes.

Bean Machine

Eat all the bean types.

The stones on this guy

Attempt to race with over 75% damage and hunger

Vicious

Fend off the police without being shot.

Do you reckon Metro's is this good every week?

Have a bad trip. Race on 4 stacks of strange beans.

Tony Jones

Buy every newspaper.

The Martian is a bad movie

Survive a full month on Mars.

Root Vegetables

Beat the game.

Old

Have over $9000.

Moriyama-san

Complete your record collection.

Aquaman talks to water, not fish

Buy fish from the fishermen.

C.R.E.A.M.

Phone mom for a loan.

Good morning video games

Start a new game plus.

Two baboons at once

Destroy two enemies at the same time.

Mr. Bean

Eat 5 bean types.

Nice

Have 69% hunger.

Well...this is low

Successfully rob a bike on the street.

Smarter than smoking

Never buy cigarettes.

I'm the Lebanese Rambo!

Eat a snack pack without throwing up.

This is real fun

Chill for over an hour.

The absolute madman

Equip more than 30 power cells to a bike.

World's Fastest Pizza

Take a pizza delivery job.